I have blogged extensively on the souls of animals but as there is what I term us and also jokingly the ‘mini Holy Trinity’, I have chosen to write about spouses.
My beloved husband passed unexpectedly on Nov 18th, 2024 without warning or signs of a Silent heart attack. To say that my life has been turned upside down, inside out is an understatement. I feel as if a nuclear-bomb exploded and there are no pieces to pick up.
We had lost Gabby August 15th, 2023, and were still reeling from that loss that deeply hurt us both. Grief isn’t linear and we struggled though we blogged, donated, advocated etc.
I am writing this on Jan 1, 2024 as we were married on January 1, 2000.
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are based on the Kübler-Ross model but that was never intended to be a uniform way of dealing with loss. There are so many emotions that are not expressed there. Imagine when my husband was suddenly gone in two hours after speaking to him.
We are people of deep faith and my goal was to ensure that his soul was filled with prayer to make it’s journey into eternity after the 40 days. We prayed daily. The Rosary has deep meaning to us as does the Anima Christi.
I have made three tributes. At the visitation, at the Funeral Mass at St Peter’s Cathedral Basilica, and at the memorial prayer on Dec 29th A Marriage made in heaven – The souls of Animals. I love the number three. It is the us, the ‘mini Holy Trinity’ and now they are me and I am them.
I have written about animals in heaven (and will continue to write on it) and now think of spouses in Heaven.
The Bible only tells us so much about Heaven. It’s a mystery that has yet to be revealed. And while so much about Heaven is left up to the imagination, I’m confident that even the most imaginative minds can’t touch the splendor that awaits us. We wonder about everything from how old we’ll appear to be to what language we’ll speak. The questions and wonders about Heaven are endless.
As we address the question, “Will I recognize my spouse in Heaven?” we need to remember that, while the Bible may give hints on this topic, Scripture does not provide an explicit answer. While it’s natural to have a fear or unsettledness about the unknown, we need to trust God with the details of eternity, just as we need to trust him with the details of our lives here on earth.
It’s notable that the Sadducees posed a question as this group didn’t believe in life after death, spirits, or angels. They dismissed resurrection and focused more on their doubts than their beliefs. The question involved a woman who had seven husbands during her life. People wondered who would be her spouse in Heaven. We face a similar misunderstanding as the Sadducees. Many think Heaven is just an extension of earthly life. Jesus pointed out that their mistake stemmed from a lack of understanding of God’s Word and His Power. Most theological misunderstandings can be traced back to one of these issues.
Jesus said that when people rise from the dead, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage but I would argue that he wasn’t describing Heaven but countering the Sadducees argument as they were trying to challenge his truth. In Heaven, the physical life we know will not exist. Jesus emphasized that marriage pertains to this life, not the next. While we can’t know a lot about marriage in Heaven from His words, we understand that Heaven is different from our current experiences. Our relationships here are limited by time, sin, and death. Although we can’t know everything about Heaven, Jesus assures us it will be better. My bond with my husband will improve in Heaven, not diminish.
So, what can we expect regarding relationships in Heaven? We will recognize each other and recall our shared experiences.
Christ’s disciples recognized Him in His glorified form. Moses and Elijah were identifiable during Jesus’ transfiguration. The Bible doesn’t suggest that God will erase our memories, so it appears we will retain them. We will be like Jesus, who knew His disciples and remembered His earthly life. Why wouldn’t we?
We will create and nurture new relationships.
It’s hard to imagine that, as part of Christ’s family, we won’t have the chance to know our brothers and sisters more deeply. We will likely meet new individuals and form new friendships. Just think about spending time with figures like Abraham, Moses, Elijah, or Peter.
We will share a closeness similar to what we experience with our spouses.
The unique bond of marriage on earth points to our relationship with Christ, our bridegroom. Once we reach Heaven, that bond will no longer serve as a guide. Marriage is meant to prepare us for Heaven, not replace it. This doesn’t mean we will lose closeness with our spouses. On the contrary, we will find a deeper connection, knowing God chose us for each other to give us a taste of what life with Him will be like. Heaven will surpass our earthly experiences in every way. I know that I have a reservation.
We are taught as Catholic Christians that “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
So we never die and we stand in Church and say until death does us part but we don’t die and we never part. So it isn’t that we will be married as here on earth but there is still a relationship and bond because love also never dies.
Eternalism is a philosophical theory that all points in time are equally real, including the past, present, and future. It’s a metaphysical view that contrasts with presentism, which holds that only the present is real. Eternalism suggests that reality is a static “block” universe, a four-dimensional spacetime manifold that includes all times and their contents. It also holds that the correct ontology does not change over time, and that entities do not begin or cease to exist. It can also be proven with mathematical equations. Something my Fouad, an engineer, and myself an Investment banker love.
God is relational. This idea appears throughout the Bible, starting in Genesis when God created His kingdom on earth in the Garden of Eden. He formed a relationship with Adam and Eve and encouraged them to build a deep and meaningful bond with each other. Genesis 2:25 highlights this by stating they were “naked and unashamed.”
This reflects what Heaven will be like. In Heaven, we will be free from sin and able to enjoy pure relationships. We will share complete intimacy with no secrets to hide. Just as we are not meant to live in isolation on earth, we will not spend eternity alone.
We will definitely be us in Heaven
There is no reason to think we will become different people in Heaven or that we will forget our memories of each other. We will be asked to account for our lives on earth, as mentioned in Romans 14:12. If we can’t remember how we lived or who we were with, how can we explain our lives?
We don’t have clear answers, but we know our bodies will be made new and perfect.
1 Corinthians 15:52 tells us that the dead will rise and those alive when Christ returns will be changed. While the Bible doesn’t provide specifics, it promises something wonderful.
Now, let’s consider examples that suggest we will recognize each other in Heaven.
The Resurrection provides a strong example. After Jesus rose from the dead, his disciples recognized him many times. They saw him cooking on the shore in John 21:1-14. They recognized him when he appeared to Thomas in John 20:24-29. In 1 Corinthians 15:6, he was seen by over five hundred people, and they knew who he was.
In John 20:15-16, when Jesus approached Mary at the tomb, she didn’t recognize him right away because she was upset. But when he called her name, she knew it was him.
The Transfiguration: In Matthew 17, Jesus took Peter, James, and John to a high mountain. There, Jesus was transformed before their eyes, shining brightly like the sun, with clothes as white as light. Two figures appeared beside him, who were Moses and Elijah.
Peter spoke to Jesus, saying it felt good to be there. He offered to set up three tents for them—one for Jesus, one for Moses, and one for Elijah. Remarkably, Peter, James, and John recognized both Jesus in his glorious form and the identities of Moses and Elijah.
The Bible doesn’t tell us if Jesus introduced them or if the disciples just knew who they were. Many people interpret this event as evidence that we will recognize each other in Heaven.
Yes, according to Catholic teaching, people will be reunited with their deceased spouses in heaven, but in a different way than on earth:
- Holy friendships: People will have holy friendships with their deceased spouses in heaven.
- Different form of togetherness: The togetherness will be something far more fulfilling and satisfying than we can imagine.
- Heaven is the marriage feast of Christ with the Church: Heaven is above all the marriage feast of the Bridegroom with his Bride: Christ with us the Church.
In Matthew 22:23-33, Jesus says, “For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven”. However, Jesus didn’t say that all earthly relationships will be nullified in heaven. I have blogged about our precious Gabby and animals in Heaven. God and animals – The souls of Animals
Holy friendships and love with my earthly spouse and my beloved Gabby is good enough for me. They taught me love here and I cannot imagine the magnitude of God’s love that is infinite by comparison.
Happy anniversary in Heaven my love. Whatever it is called in Heaven, I love you and Gabby more than I love everyone else combined and I need you to know that you are exemplars of Christ’s love here on earth.